shes about as inviting as chlamydia
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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