Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
