We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
