remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize