So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
