I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
