For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
