U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
