I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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