got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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