Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
