Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
