ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
how drunk are you?
Several
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
