sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
