It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
