Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
