I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
