I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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