I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
