I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
i need some magic done to my vagina
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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