I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
