and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
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I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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