this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
And then my night got REAL pukey
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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