I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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