the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
