I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
