Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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