"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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