do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
