Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
