What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
