I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
