why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
