Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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