I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
