there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
