Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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