My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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