A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
