I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize