Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
