I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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