just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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