so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
