I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
