Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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