Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
