giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
