porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
