Non-Jews are for practice
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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