she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
