Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
