dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
