Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize