I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Randomize
