I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
